Success Story:
It was the beginning of January 2011. I had been an old customer of matchmaker Goldie Frohlinger on SYAS for about two year and she knew me well. D was recently divorced and had just joined the site. Shortly afterward, Goldie saw her profile and suggested the match, we both accepted and I received D’s phone number. We spoke a little on the phone and arranged to meet the next day at Beit Anna Ticho (a nice place for a date for anyone looking for recommendations!) We met for two hours maybe a little more, and I found her intriguing and was willing to continue dating. Little did I know what she would say - I still have the text in my phone with her reply: "Thank you very much, you are very nice but I feel strongly we are not for each other"
I had been dumped in the past and usually I preferred being dumped than dumping because I always felt bad for the girl when I was the one dumping, so it never disturbed me. Yet for some inexplicable reason, this time I was really “down in the dumps” that she didn’t want to see me again, but life moves on and so I continued on the hunt for my soul mate.
About a month later, D called Goldie and asked her if she has any suggestions for her. Now Goldie is unique and among her many qualities is that in her lexicon "NO" does not mean no, it just means you’ve got to push a little harder. So she asked D: “Why wouldn’t you go out with T again?” D answered whatever reason she gave, and then Goldie adamantly told her that there is no one better than me on the site and she must try me again. Well, maybe it took a little more pushing and prodding but D reconsidered and we went out again.
I will not say it was love at first sight because there were some of issues at hand. Most of all, I had never been out with someone with 4 kids - though I have 4 of my own that don’t live with me, it still seemed a like of a big package. But I had always said that if I felt the woman was worth it, I would take her with whatever package she comes with.
We went out a couple of times and things were going well. One day I went to talk to my Rosh Yeshiva to consult with him. When I finished he asked me what I want from him, I told him that I didn’t really know but I wanted to talk things through and get some clarity in the situation. He answered me "I know you are not asking me, but I am telling you don’t let her get away!!" I was surprised since he had never said such a thing to me before, even though I had been out with a number of girls and often discussed with him.
D has many special qualities but what stuck out more than any other was that she was simply a "good" person, just good. I don’t want to go into examples here, but there was a goodness she had that I had not seen by any of the other girls I had been out with. In addition she is a very happy person, something that for me was very important on the list of qualities I was looking for in someone to share my life with. I felt already that we were going in a particular direction…
Besides her many qualities, D also knows what she wants from life and where she wants to go. She didn’t have time or patience to wait for me to propose and on one of the following dates she asked me to ask her to marry me! I was surprised - but I told her that the man is supposed to ask that question and she will have to wait till I get around to buying a ring.
It was erev Purim and I went to buy the engagement ring and after that I kept it in my pocket till the right moment would arise. Due to the fact she was a mother to 4, we often meet at her home in the evenings. Well, one particularly pleasant evening felt the time was right. She had gone in the kitchen to get us a cup of tea, I put the ring on her place mat and when she came with the tea, well she almost dropped it when she saw what was waiting for her.
Of course she said yes, and we got married on June 16, 2011. We had a stunningly beautiful wedding, and I told her that although everything at the wedding was as I always dreamed it would be, she was the only thing at the wedding not as I had dreamed it would be - she was much better than I ever dreamed my wife would be! The rest is history in the making and we have over 80 years to go and finish writing out history book.
A little about SYAS:
I have come across a number of people who are cautious and suspicious about signing up on a dating website, especially those from the ultra-Orthodox community that I supposedly belong to. I always tell them that SYAS is different because it is not a "meat-market.” It is just like going to a shadchan except that this works on line and has more clients that any shadchan could possibly offer. I have only words of praise for all the shadchanim that work tirelessly to help those “out in the market.” I believe G-d will have a special place for them in Gan Eden because they empathize, care, and offer encouragement to people going through what can sometimes be very trying and difficult times in their life.
But above all, I will never be able enough to sing the praises of our shadchan Goldie Frohlinger. Every date she set me up with was always within the framework of whom I was looking for, she never set me up with people from out in left field (on the other side of the fence) and I would often tell her, "Goldie, it doesn’t look right, but I trust you and will go out with her". Her tenacity, her constant trying and even her audacity is what I think brings her so much success. She understands what each one is looking for and spends nights and days and then some more nights to get what she wants. She was always available on the phone to talk, encourage, push, explain, mediate and clarify. I can only bless her with what she really wants and that is she should always be successful in her endeavors.
A word to the single:
I was single for 6 years. That is a reasonable amount of time. I went into Rav Chaim Kanievsky not long before I got engaged and I told him that I am single already 6 years and it is not easy. So he said "pray". I answered him that I am praying already 6 years and seeming not getting the right answer from our father above. With infinite love in his eyes he turned to me and said, "there is a pasuk in Tehillim: Kavey el Hashem, Chazak Veyametz Libecha, Vekavei el Hashem – continue to pray, never give up praying!!!"
And this my message to you all, NEVER GIVE UP! There is someone out there for you that will come shortly into your lives and make you happier than you have ever been, don’t give up, keep looking, keep making the effort, keep trying and above all don’t stop praying, put your trust in Hashem and eventually you will have a yeshuah.
