Success Story:
Judith and Yitzchok were both 59 and living in Brooklyn, but only met when they took their dating online.
What was your impression of Yitzchok on the phone?
J: Very positive. He sounded like the kind of person I’d like to get to know.
What did you do on your first date?
J: We took a walk on the boardwalk.
Did you know right away that Yitzchok was your match?
J: I knew by the 2nd or 3rd date. We both knew and I wouldn’t have continued if I didn’t feel that way.
How does your spouse compare to the image of the person you thought you’d marry?
J: It wasn’t the first marriage for either of us. Neither of us were looking for specifics. I just wanted a mensch, someone frum and with same hashkafa. We come from extremely different backgrounds. I’m Litvish and he is Chasidish and I never assumed I’d marry a chassid! But this wasn’t a barrier because we were on the same levels of frumkeit and we both wanted to grow and we were hashkaficly the same.
How long did you date before becoming engaged?
J: 2.5 months and it was understood between both of us by the first month that we would be getting engaged.
What was the proposal like?
J: We went to a restaurant in Brooklyn. He asked me “is this formal enough for you? Will you marry me?”
I said “what?! You’re not going to get down on one knee?”
He said mazel tov kallah and I said mazel tov chosson.
Aside from SYAS what other ways did you employ to meet people?
J: I didn’t try any other sites. I tried Invei Hagefen, but found no one from there. I also met people through word of mouth. I only tried 5 people from SYAS.
How long would you say you were seriously looking for someone?
J: 3 months
What were the biggest challenges that you feel you went through while dating?
J: He was worried because he had kids from before. He was specifically worried about one of his kids, but now ironically that is the one I am closest with. I was worried about what chasidish is. Nothing major was bad, but it was hard because I was in aveilut (mourning) for my father. Also, I am an almanah (widow) which was a little conflicting. Its not that I felt guilty, but he was someone different.
Did you date a lot of people before finding each other?
J: For him-10 years! For me only the 5th and the others I only went on one date with.
Did you have any hesitation about using an online dating site?
J: I would not have done anything but SYAS. My brother told me to try it out because it is very successful. I only used it because there were shadchanim. I would not have exposed myself to the world. I like it because it’s discrete, and I encouraged a lot of people to sign up. I am a kallah teacher and one of my students got her friend to sign up as well.
What would you say to encourage others to try online dating?
J: I had lots of success. I didn’t get any weirdos or wackos to go out with! The people I went out with before were NICE men.
I like it because it’s discrete and you’re not exposed to people.
Judith and Yitzchok were married on December 30th, 2007. They continue to live in Brooklyn.
